Wagging Away

I'm kinda running on empty cylinders right now since daughter is being most amiable and I have no decent blog ideas...So for lack of work apparently, I am going to revive the tag that hip prudester foisted on me... For the blog-innocent: a tag is when someone asks you to write some x number of things about you that nobody else really wants to know (including the tag-ger, but they usually find out after the fact!!) Okay 9 weird things about me: 1) I love peeling grapes with my teeth before I eat them....yeah gross.. but try it before you scoff, my friend!!! 2) Hate toothpaste tubes squeezed in the middle... people... follow the instructions... it says "best results when you start at bottom and slowly progress to top" sheesh!!! 3) Hugh Laurie, George Clooney,assorted older actor guys ... YUMMY!!! 4) Detest poetry (hah prudester, and sissy and ink.. take that) 5) Love daughter (sometimes! that's the secret part) 6) I am a sloth... if nothing needs to get done, I will pos...

So D-Poo has started at another daycare... all supposed pluses... at the university with hopefully like-minded people...very close to me... dubious advantage, I get to do drop-off and pick-up.. but on the other hand it may build closeness...or else I will damage her psyche forever by throwing out her favourite very annoying CD from the car...She's been very happy though and considerably less dirty at the end of the day which leaves me wondering why I didn't move her sooner... The visit to India of course has passed from her mind except for some ladder-climbing incidents and other random recollections of P-Boy cousin. But some effects we still fondly hope are true and long-lasting... like her attempts to insert more Tamil words into her vocabulary (she mostly sounds like a echo whe we speak but I'll take anything)...I fancy that her tolerance of spicy food has increased (false but I'm a deluded mom...gimme a break here...)...She still has no concept of tradition as I wou...

Well, My first post-India blog was going to be a maudlin, meadering recount of the fab time that was had by all especially D-Poo...but while that blog is still languishing in d(r)aft format I just had to share a community laugh with what I just read... So, every mom this side of the Atlantic/Pacific and on the Asian side has surely heard about competitve parenting and "helicopter parents" and playgroups etc etc... bearing in mind that the country that invented parenthood as a "lifestyle trend" instead of just "life" was responsible for the epithets, this new "trend" I thought was a hoot...Please read http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/09/fashion/09drink.html For the ones who decided to not waste more of their time the article goes somewhat like this: 5-8 mommies meet on a weekly basis and leave their kids to play with each other and sit around, drink and gossip... So now the fashion is to mix diapers and martinis and I am sure while one can be had sh...

in blog world and how I've missed everyone...(the 3 who read my blog that is)... refreshed, rejuvenated, exhausted, alive and happy.... as you mightve guessed jetlag hasn't worn off yet!!! But seriously the trip was sooooooo good... and more importantly, D-Poo had a blast... of course she's still too young to be annoying when she complains about mosquito bites and one only feels sorry for her... but all in all quite the trooper...she loved being fussed over, cared for, loved to bits and cuddled a lot by everyone...especially the cousin P-Boy. Was truly cute to see the two of them hugging and kissing quite innocuously of course and having so much fun!!! My daughter though doesn't believe in just enjoying the moment. Jealousy soon set in and her attention-seeking ended in appalling tantrums and the appearance of "bad Dhriti" at regular intervals till we decided to dispense with the schizophrenic solution to dealing with her weird behaviour... if this is any indi...

For those who know me, the rant I go off on about being "displaced" is not a new one. I went through a period of putting down roots in this great and free land and somehow these past few years, those tentative spreads to "settling down" seem to have badly failed. So now I am in the "when can I return" phase of the life of an immigrant. Into this equation is a new variable: D-Poo. She's of course an ABCD (American born confused desi for those of my audience who STILL don't know it)who says: "schooal" and "yennai," has never been to a temple and has no concept of eating "kaamam" at all. Has never had dosai/idli for breakfast and wouldn't miss it. But somehow I want her to. I have long held dear the claim to myself and all and sundry that a new land when adopted has to be in all its glory: dating for all and meat in the lunchroom even for Tam-brahms and white boys to marry. I have freely mocked the old fuddy-duddies ...

To lose my temper at D-Poo? No, I know the answer to that one and yet I find myself doing so and sometimes over the smallest perceived infractions... Such as "why can't she wear her socks the second I command her to?" Why doesn't she brush her teeth at the moment I tell her to and does she really need to hang at that awkward angle? Worse still, is she doing all this deliberately?" The answers are of course rational and I know she doesn't mean it. But then shouldn't she learn better? Isn't she old enough? I, unfortunately have fallen into the trap: of the expectant parent. When they're just babies we smother the need to receive back as much as we give to them. But as they get older this changes. We expect something back in return too: obedience, ability to dine with royalty without splling the icecream, and later in life academic and social brilliance. Of course very few are driven all the way, but parents do expect. And so we get disappointed and ...

The average Indian will know of the great "mundan/mottai" experience. Babies and children ranging in age from 6 monnths to about 8 years or so with variously shaved heads. Sometimes found chanting the name of the Lord as they trudge up (or down) from Tirupathi or whereever else their family decreed they lose their pride. And then the tradition aspect: with each family having a personal favorite deity and a defined number of mottais one was supposed to have. And then of course another tradition: do we inflict this only on the boys or does equality mean girls participate too? And will there be divine repurcussions if one breaks with the tradition (stupid question that one: Of course! Duh!!). And so we marched into the 21st century, armed with a socially acceptable explanation to salvage our conscience for carrying on a silly tradition: If you shave off the baby hair you get more even growth and get rid of any defects (actual and supposed) in hairline and baldspots on the crown ...

I really ought to give up reading the news... keeps giving me mommy blog ideas and I end up ranting and raving and writing for hours on end...oh well As teens, a lot of us spent umpteen (Ha!) hours annoying fathers and brothers preening in front of mirrors, examining ourselves till we were just right. Add to that a need to look slim and most of us watched what we ate or at least pretended we did. And, of course, dissed our moms who kept telling us to eat well and other assorted friends and relatives who would chirpily claim that plump was so becoming!!! Really what did they know... and what was this obsession with food anyways? And so we travelled into our 20s and 30s eating enough and dieting when we felt that fave pair of jeans fold down near the tummy!!! And then babies happen.... and we turn into our mothers. Feeding a yelling screaming newborn (and all the assorted things that could go wrong if you don't do it just right) is just the beginning of a lifelong commitment to feed ...

A few weeks ago while welcoming a reader to the blog, she mentioned how the breast-feeding dilemma was so true except she felt another myth was worse... natural vs assisted childbirth... (yep strictly a mommy blog... those with timid hearts need linger no more!!! Hehehehehe!!!) ... I had sort of filed it away for.... like whenever ....since my recollection of the arrival of my daughter was pretty hazy at best... But then I saw this ad...and here I am boiling with righteous indignation... Get to the point you say? Well here goes... First the ad: Attractive (who isn't, right?) 8-month preggie woman stretching near a beach. Still able to wear leggings without looking like an ad for an elephant in tights. And the blurb, " Learn about natural childbirth and delivery. Bring your baby into this world safely in the only way that is good for them... etc etc. etc" You get the picture... labour, screaming, babies emerging all good. Epidurals, painkillers, scalpels, forceps, baby eme...

Dear D-Poo, I hope when you get older and if this blog still exists, you will read this post... It's stuff I want to tell you but somehow never seem to... in the midst of the daily routine, I sometimes forget that what you are today you will never be again. And the moment will be gone forever. So before I forget I want to tell you stuff that I should have told you and may never do...Here goes: 1) I love you: I thought about saying this at the end.. what the heck I might again!! Not just "Good morning, love you so-you- can-go-to-school" Or the "love you" said in absent-minded response. But the "I love you" I feel when I see you stretched out next to me on the bed.. snoring ever so slightly. The I love you I feel when you come to me and give me a hug and say "amma, I love you forever." 2) Remember to believe the best in everyone: There will be times when people try to crush your spirit or cloud your perceptions (including thoughtless parents). ...

I'm back after a small break to do a spot of dancing... Performance went off well but it set me thinking about something else... I spent the day before I left and the days away worryig about daughter and hubby: Did they eat (properly!), did she sleep all right, was she cheerful at school, at home, did she keep asking for me, am I being a negligent mom? I got back, received a hug at the airport and she was off... so that begat (is that a word even?) the question...How much does D-Poo actually miss me? It's not that evident in her urge to talk to me over the phone (none whatsoever... urge, that is)... That hug as soon as I land is all very fine except that a minute later she's back to doing what she was and pretty much ignores me the rest of the day... and the crankiness- is it because she was missing a parent or the fact that she just caught a cold? Do we mothers (the over zealous, worrying, hovering kinds) overestimate our importance for the immediate welfare of our childre...

This has been bothering me and is not a mommy thing...So mommy blog seekers steer clear of this one... So we live in a world where globalization rules..and it is flat proclaims Thomas Freidman of the NY Times. And so it seems especially along the coasts of this country where states are proudly painted blue during every wishful presidential campaign.... And we immigrants soldier on... confident in our belief of a changing world where all are equal and our kids can go to Stanford...Till you get stopped short so hard and suddenly that the wind is knocked out of you... What AM I saying you ask? Let me explain... For starters I live in a pretty rarefied part of American society where most of the people I meet are liberal, many had heard of Bangalore and India before they became a collective bad word for lost jobs and telemarketers...All have college degrees at the very least if not an assortment of other letters signifying even higher education... And so I have had the good fortune to live ...

I remember this conversation from a lifetime ago (actually just 6 years but anything before D-Poo seems like someone else's life).. A bunch of friends... mostly newly married types... sitting around and chatting about the ludicrousness of people "these days"... about anti-bacterial Fisher-Price toys and how irrelevant that became the minute you put it on the floor!!! Or a table or a sofa or just opening it from its antibacterial package itself!!! Hermetically sealed for our protection it would be contaminated the minute it became useful!!! Well, that was like I said BEFORE D-Poo!!! And now I see why the companies do it... because there are enough moms who will believe something if told often enough .. even biology PhDs!!! And so everything is elevated to a learning experience: Sucking your fist is now an exploratory mechanism for "baby" to explore the world. Flinging stuff around randomly just because you can is "developing fine motor skills" and toddl...

Well this blog is developing as a "mommy" blog as a certain reader commented and somehow I am not able to stem the flow... It's just easy to write about stuff that occupies your mind everyday than to worry about Lebanon (Altho' I have to admit, I am particularly touched by this conflict given that Mid Eastern conflicts have been going on for the best part of my lifetime...) I was reading a blog entry by Rashmi Bansal (Yes sissy, I use sites you've listed and like most of them)... Made for interesting reading on the matrimonial ads in newspapers...Now I have long perused these very ads and found them in varying degrees funny, tolerable and downright abominable...I read her rather funny account of all the various types of women listed by type and degree of wanting to work after marriage... Unfortunately there isn't any real manual to predict what we're going to be in life and the baby curveball is truly something unexpected. Me for example: Those who knew me...

Wagging Away Chapter 2: D-Poo goes to pre-K Yesterday was so nice for me... with a heart bursting with pride I dropped my daughter off at her day care. With her cute turtle backpack and clean shoes and spanking new haircut. I fancied I saw a bounce in her step as she stepped into the room. Why the sudden surge of emotion you may ask? After all she's been doing this awhile now right? Ah! But you'd be wrong!!! She's in the pre-school section now... with the BIG kids!!! Now, how much of a difference this promotion in life makes to her is unclear but the difference it makes to mine is obvious ... apparently all too obvious... one toddler-section mother stopped to enquire about D-Poo and upon being informed she'd just started a day ago, she nodded sagely and said "Ah that's why you look so proud!!!" That's when I humbly realized that kindergarten "graduations" (complete with diplomas) were invented because of sucker parents like me!!!! D-poo herse...

No, it isn't a continuation of the theme that darling Sissy started ... it's just a response to an article I read on CNN... and ad nauseam on every parenting site, health site, news site, TV ... the list goes on. The current objects of my fury are called apparently "lactivists"... an "empowering" term for annoying people who like to shove their superiority as breast-feeding mothers in everyone's face!!! No, I'm all for it... if you can do it go for it... it's functional, free and most sanitary and billions of people have flourished doing the thing... most intelligent cultures (which automatically excludes all white, caucasian cultures) have recognized this for eons and it's just fine. These sensible cultures aso have had the benefit of being poor and recognize that a full belly is the prerequisite and not what an aging hyper protective mother thinks is a baby's birthright!!!! So what evolved was a commonsense approach to feeding a child.....

Wagging Away It's been a while since I wrote in my blog... since then, Warren Buffett couldn't bear being second-best and in a grand show two billionaires are betting that philanthropy is the next big thing... I love it... Wish there were more billionaires who felt that "dynastic wealth" is a terrible thing and that rich people's kids should have enough money to do anything but not enough to do nothing... beautiful sentiment if ever there was one!!! Billionaires apart...my audience of one (ahem! you know who you are) has put forth a suggestion: a weekly update on charming antics of a baby soon to be human being!!! And of course since he calls her "poo" this series is entitled "The adventures of D- Poo!!" The protagonist will do nothing from morn till night except wreak general havoc, be cute when you're ready to wring her neck and generally be a normal 2-year-old although in my fond moments I have her conducting the London Philharmonic... I...

Wagging Away I'll admit it... I am an idealist, hopelessly so... and I thrill to great speeches (by politicians nonetheless... I told you I was hopeless) and love to read of great acts of selflessness and sacrifice. So today when I read the following quote I caught myself with tears in my eyes. "I believe with great wealth comes great responsibility - the responsibility to give back to society"(a quote apparently first credited to Spiderman-truly! I kid you not!) What a truly noble thought. Except it comes from one of the most reviled men in history. Not as many venomous words have been written about the most nefarious villains in history as have been written (and thought true) about Microsoft founder Bill Gates. He's an easy pick right? Rich guy feeding off the system that fed him. World domination is his goal say the critics...he doesn't want anyone else to survive they claim.... and so on and so forth... But here's an undeniable fact, the guy is the real th...

Wagging Away I just realized if I did a google search with the current name for this blog my first 5000 matches are going to be doggie websites... oh well! up with it and wag away my four-legged friends for this is a free world for dogs, immigrants and other white people!!!

Random Thoughts A couple of months ago, I decided to jump on the blogging bandwagon and contribute one more useless thought process to the endless barrage of "ideas" and "writers" and "creative" content on the web. Aha! I thought, blogspot. com would be the best way for me to show the world what it's been missing all these days. Then as I filled out the settings form in great anticipation I had a truly original idea: Why don't I make this a free form thought forum and call it (a fit of inspiration seized me here) : Random Thoughts!!! Perfect! I wasn't going to be one of those people who preached about stuff or wrote about their dog or posted random (that word again) photos of/by themselves or even just use it to chat with other people. No! I was going to be unique and say stuff as I thought of it. What better way to write than to not imitate (see my previous blog "lack of imagination"). And so I put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard...

Random Thoughts I decided, on a whim, to take a career assessment test. I sat through about 20 minutes of random questions at the end of which the computer screen would exactly determine what type of person I was, what my skills were, what my strengths were (and therefore presumably my weaknesses), and what sort of job would best suit my temperament (top 20 it said). Of course, the test was free online. But not so the assessment (obviously). What I got was a long page with little tidbits (H is great; she'd make a fine manager, wonderful writer, excellent performance artist and homemaker and etc) interlaced with long paragraphs of blanks... to be filled in when you paid up for the executive package or some such thing. Every description was designed to set off alarm bells in your mind about your general capabilities unless of course you actually ponied up the money to be reassured you weren't a flaming failure in the blanked out parts!!! So here are my edited "results...

Frost was right ... there are always two ways. And if you choose the one less trodden-the hidden implication being it's oh so exciting and full of derring-do - we would be wise to remember that is usually the beginning to a book full of unfortunate events ( I am still in the midst of my lemony snicket saga). Consider that if you have something cooking on a stove... clearly you have choice to turn it off or leave it on... the path less trodden would dictate you leave it be and see what happens. But then it is easy to see that the end result can only be unhappy (people yelling, alarms going off and a generally pissed neighbourhood is sure to ensue presuming there are no fatalities and your house is still standing of course). But you may argue, that is not really a choice you need to make and Frost was arguing for something more profound, ambiguous, lasting maybe? Here's a scenario (I am living this as we speak of course): Important things to be done... cleaning the house, preppin...

Random Thoughts Another Hallmark holiday looms ahead : Father's day. The sop to the poor left-out halves of parenting just so that Mother's day doesn't look biased or anything. Because surely we must encourage all the poor dads who're just waiting or appeciation? But here's the thing-I don't think so... Moms ? Sure they love all the fuss and frippery, the gifts, the reiterations of "I love you," the cutesy things that families are supposed to do... Dads on the other hand are quite happy to come home to happy families, to kids who're doing their own thing and happy about it and general peace in their little slice of the world. They don't care do they whether we give them the best gift to mark a day? Cos surely if they wanted it they would just go out and buy it for themselves. That's what makes them dads...not moms who wait for someone to notice they want something and then buy it for them when they're not looking. And then feel bad if s...

Random Thoughts The great immigration debate rages on... now it's almost comical how the two "sides" are behaving. First of course we have the endless row of "liberal" Hispanic reps/celebrities who profess their great love for this their new land (only if they can of course not speak the language, eat their own food (which is de-lish by the ways), look down upon everyone else, continue to moan about how they are regarded as second class citizens, and then proceed to prove their point by singing the national anthem of their adopted English-speaking land in Spanish, the tongue of their left-behind not-so-wanted-except-in-my memories motherland!!! Oh god, talk about shooting yourself in the foot.... And then the people that proclaim themselves defenders of this land are even more embarrassingly childish!!! Instead of building on the "let them shoot themselves in the foot" sentiment they go on to bluster about protecting the country's traditions and p...

Was lolling about on a typical Sunday morning unable to sleep cos of a horrendous cold that's been bugging me for the past week or so...Anywyas, I got around to thinking of my grandmom (I am a sort of random person... get it?). She passed away this past winter (January 2006) at ripe old age of almost 80 something... I have always missed having the grandmas described in stories and that my husband has had the good fortune to have. His grammy is a small sweet courgeous woman of apparently unending talent and courage, who refuses to cowed by life, disability, constant pain and a pretty typical household that depends entirely on her good cheer without quite realizing or acknowledging it. His other grandmom I never got to know but sounds like a woman of great humour and wisdom, beloved by all she knew and an established authoress. I on the other hand had just one grandmom all my life. My paternal grandmom died (I so prefer euphemisms-died is just cruel to say) when my dad was in his 20...

Random Thoughts Hmm ... I've been away a while... so news update... GWB is tapping our phones!!! My god I've been listening to all the rattle and rumpus about this... it really annoys me that now all of a sudden people can see how bad this guy is just because he's down... I feel quite sorry for the guy now and honestly at least he has the gumption to keep doing the wrong thing .... the democrats on the other hand are the eternal crying, hand wringing, whining, complaining machine... They remind me of the quintessential playground bully's sidekicks... the ones that can't do the punching but are more than happy to kick a guy when he's down just to look good...!!! Honestly the democratic voters deserve better than a sidekick... they need a bully of their own... okay that's my political piece... I don't care really... I don't vote, I am definitely having my phone tapped (the benefit of having a father who used to work in Saudi Arabia), possibly having my...

Random Thoughts All right, I just got back from a good weekend of chatting with family... Funny thing how growing up together can mould thoughts and character the same way even when we're far apart... My brother and I ended up starting blogs about the same day, and with the same sort of layout, concept and even our topics of the day are similar!!! except of course he hasn't learnt the value of fewer words to make a stronger point (I'm so the older sis)...Life is odd in the turns it takes... I would never have predicted that I would be so far away from home and that my brother would be the one to stay back... Oh well... time to get back to work I gess... will write more when I can think of something useful to say!!!

Random Thoughts I am so missing home... home is India (for those who didn't quite figure that one out from the immigration rant!) ... Somehow 8 years into living in the US surrounded for the most part by people who are understanding, can point to India on a world map and intelligent, I still feel very alien... Just want the morning sounds back, the milkman dropping off the bags at your door, amma saying her prayers in the morning, cycles ringing their bells, smoke-belching buses roaring past the house, vegetable vendors hawking their fresh wares, kids running to catch the morning school bus!!... and the smells of coffee, milk, food cooking for breakfast and for lunch boxes, garbage bins overflowing (okay so I don't really miss that one too much), agarbathi lit up ...hmmmmmmmm I think I had a pretty decent life back home, affluent but not filthy rich with a certain groundedness that comes of travelling in full buses and hanging out the door by one hand and praying you reach safe...

Random Thoughts I read a lot of stuff from serious fiction all the way to what is unflatteringly described as "chick-lit" (mostly by soulless guys but we'll let that one pass) One trend in the latter genre is to write stuff that looks airy and trendy and says pretty much nothing at all. Into this genre arrives the latest episode of plagiarism by a harvard student no less. What kind of state is this country's education in when English majors who're presumably preparing for a world of writing in some form or the other don't have enough original words in their heads that they must resort to mass copying from already not so wonderful prose? Paragraphs just lifted with altered words scattered about do not orginal fiction make. It is bad enough that we have to deal with supposed brilliant pieces of prose like "devil wears Prada" ... glorifications of a self-preoccupied generation devoted to inane hobbies... oh like buying shoes and the latest designer wear...

Random Thoughts So I was listening to the news today (as usual since I am such an intellectual!) and heard this piece on the "great immigration debate"... First of all it's the great Mexican immigrant debate affecting all the other people pretty much insignificantly!!! Here's my take: Firstly, I am an imigrant (without any plans of staying on here if I can help it) secondly, I am democratic and pretty liberal i.e I think I am a reasonably understanding person and sympathetic to the underdog and would prefer if Bush hadn't been voted into office the second time... but you know what luckily it still is a democracy and obviously 51% of the people felt strongly enough about him... besides I don't vote and it's not my country.... Thirdly I do have a daughter who was born here and so feel some ties to this place that has given me a career and a family and am always asking myself if I want to pursue residency here.... So with that let me say I have no sympathy a...

So this is my first attempt at this... My try to stop complaining to people who don't want to hear and complain to the whole world instead!!! Oh well It's proving much harder to write what I'm thinking of than I expected. So I'm guessing the first few blogs are going to be for my eyes only (maybe a few hundred thousand other people but hah! I don't have a visitor tracker so what I don't know can't hurt me) So first let me intro myself. I am aspiring.... aspiring scientist aspiring writer aspiring dancer aspiring entrepreneur aspiring outstanding mom ... sheeesh with all this aspiring obviously I'm getting nowhere... All right aspiring scientist is needed... I'll aspire to continue at some other time