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Separation pangs!

I'm back after a small break to do a spot of dancing... Performance went off well but it set me thinking about something else... I spent the day before I left and the days away worryig about daughter and hubby: Did they eat (properly!), did she sleep all right, was she cheerful at school, at home, did she keep asking for me, am I being a negligent mom? I got back, received a hug at the airport and she was off... so that begat (is that a word even?) the question...How much does D-Poo actually miss me? It's not that evident in her urge to talk to me over the phone (none whatsoever... urge, that is)... That hug as soon as I land is all very fine except that a minute later she's back to doing what she was and pretty much ignores me the rest of the day... and the crankiness- is it because she was missing a parent or the fact that she just caught a cold? Do we mothers (the over zealous, worrying, hovering kinds) overestimate our importance for the immediate welfare of our children,.. that if we are not around for even a short while they would just melt away into a nothingness ...I would like to believe my daughter needs me ... every minute of every day...so much that my working or not working is an important factor in her emotional and general development. But I may just be kidding myself.. that the time spent with her friends is doing a lot more for her general feeling of well-being than being around me (mostly boring chore-oriented sort of existence)...That as long as she is fed and clothed and sticks to her routine maybe all is well in HER world...For a couple of days at least... so is my guilt worth it? And can I stop feeling it by all this rationalizing? My guess is not... I am certain women more sensible than I have attempted some degree of detachment and failed miserably through the ages... And so I will continue to worry... everytime the phone rings when I am not in her immediate presence... I will imagine the gravest dangers and biggest injuries (ever mind that her biggest wound to date was when I was around)... It is a stress I have come to accept and something I cannot actually imagine my life without... Gone are the days when I used to mock my parents (correction: "paranoid father"... mom was too cool) for worrying because I now can understand. For what would happen if she hadn't missed the leg of the chair while falling? Or what if she doesn't come down the slide the right way? I have to be prepared, right? Or am I just losing my mind? At this point the distinction is hard to make...Did I just hear her cry? Or maybe not....Better check...

Comments

Inkk said…
hey Humveeee,

Welcome back :)

Please post some pics of D-Pooh, she sounds like a doll :))

ps: As a underhand tactic to get you to post a pic, promise to attempt painting with her as theme, if you do so :)
10:00 AM
The Wag said…
hi Ink,
Been watching painting progress on your site... As for pics... I am trifle reluctant to do that given the bizarros that traverse the web... but maybe a little pic should do no harm!!! All in good time... keep visiting ever know when tat might happen ;)
1:26 PM
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