The average Indian will know of the great "mundan/mottai" experience. Babies and children ranging in age from 6 monnths to about 8 years or so with variously shaved heads. Sometimes found chanting the name of the Lord as they trudge up (or down) from Tirupathi or whereever else their family decreed they lose their pride. And then the tradition aspect: with each family having a personal favorite deity and a defined number of mottais one was supposed to have. And then of course another tradition: do we inflict this only on the boys or does equality mean girls participate too? And will there be divine repurcussions if one breaks with the tradition (stupid question that one: Of course! Duh!!). And so we marched into the 21st century, armed with a socially acceptable explanation to salvage our conscience for carrying on a silly tradition: If you shave off the baby hair you get more even growth and get rid of any defects (actual and supposed) in hairline and baldspots on the crown of one's head. Ah! At last a sensible explanation as to why the elders started the practice!
After the above para most readers (3!!!) may be forgiven for thinking I was going to break the mould... Ha!!! Witness the latest victim to what a conservative, traditional upbringing can do to a normally rational human being.... What?, you say? Expliquez, s'il vous plait? Sure, here goes:
D-Poo, the poor unsuspecting victim of this tragedy was slow to start talking. I, being rather naive, had assumed my daughter would start rattling off 6-syllable words and be compeltely understandable when she hit this milestone. But she wasn't. She babbled and grunted and said gibberish for about 4 months after her 1st birthday. Being said idiot, I assumed the worst: speech delay maybe? Would I need a therapist? And other assorted foolishness associated with first time parents. But this is hindsight with its amazing clarity. While going thru said throes and pangs, in a moment of weakness, I had a flash: Maybe this was how the family deity on my hubby's side was taking me to task (well, I need to spread the blame, don't I?) This vaitheeswara deity is a form of Shiva who came down as a doctor, in lore, and thus is the principal deity of hubby's side of the family. All the kids get mottais done as a matter of course. Until D-Poo! We had struck a compromise with atheist father and God that we would just give the hair from her first haircut as a mark of respect (we really have to come up with better gifts to the gods... no wonder they keep us on short leashes!!!). Those who knew the squawling new born will agree there was a fair amount of generosity going on there. But maybe that wasn't enough... Add to the mumbling gibbberish part, she kept falling ill (first exposure to daycare says amazingly clear hindsight) and I felt obliged to make the worst kind of promise: On behalf of someone else!!! And this was the deal I struck with God...let her start speaking I said and make her all better (3am and a child with an ear infection!!! Gimme a break too, will ya?) and we can see about that mottai.
And of course she's talking... won't stop sometimes even though I beg her to. And screams and sings and yells... well maybe we can deal with that in another post...Point being I was stuck... deals with God are rather immutable in my mind and sort of irrevocable... but when do I break the news to hubby and when do we do this and leave the offspring's psyche intact? Till it hit me ... Ah ha in India!! No one will even notice... and so her 2nd birthday past and we were going to India in Oct when I dropped the bomb on hubby dearest...Wow did the shit hit the fans and stink up the house (to be fair I can't blame him for this one no matter how hard I try to find a reason)... After the cooling down happened... he pointed out to me very reasonably (with a little gnashing of the teeth) that India was the WORST idea!!! Everybody would want to know when, why, where,, who did it... did we do it at home or in the temple? And so we were going to do it here and take the grisly offering back to India (lucky for me I had worked this very situation into the deal with lovely God and had only arranged for hair offering.... I love that Hinduism has no hell... hmm, is being born as an earthworm really any better?) And so dear reader, the deed has been done. Unfortunately subject to an extremely foolish mom, my dear firstborn walks around with a shaved head (NO! No pics) complaining that she doesn't like her haircut. It will upset her for a couple more days, but I am more upset than anyone else. My daughter for the very first time in her life has no hair on her head! I have to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments
and yes, hairy pic might do a bit to redeem conscience and all..but still :(
lol :)) having said that, all a matter of time...and will grow back soon and all that (hmph,this line is just for my conscience for digging the nail deep in, dont take too much comfort from it and all)
Don't crucify yourself too much!!!
one of your best blogs yet...