I have always been decidedly average. Above average in my doting parents' eyes... but average to the rest of the world. Which basically means I didn't fail any classes, kept my head above water and responded when my name was called. What it also meant was that I was always compared to my rather smarter sibling, supposedly smarter cousins and other random people as they showed up in my life by well (or not!) meaning friends and relatives. And now I have two of my own to nourish and nurture and make sure their fledgling emotions don't take the beating mine did while growing up. I therefore promise I will not:
1) Point out that one eats just five-times better than the other. For after all what does it matter? Maybe a few years of my life can be saved from being whiled away at a dinner table saying, "Eat!" in various threatening tones. Only to be met with boredom, smarminess or both. No! I will not compare...just be grateful for the one that DOES eat!
2) I will not wish that both would sleep the entire night through just so I can get my precious 8 hours. Be like her sister? No she need not!
3)I will resist the impulse to list the activities my child is great at...even if it is to myself! She could do Tchaikovsky without lessons you know...both piano and ballet!
4) I will resist the impulse to claim my daughters did quadratic equations at the age of 6 months and were attending school before they could say peekaboo!
5) I will try not to insist they learn Bharatanatyam just because I did...especially if they stink at it! Comparing myself to them? tch tch!
6) I will try not to look too closely at the brushwork and strokes of the painting prizewinner who was not my daughter! Of course I am still allowed to think the mother has connections!
7) I will resist the impulse to dress my daughters in identical clothes only to have random people comment how one colour suits one but not the other! Very damaging to little psyches!
8) I will not let people tell them it's not "cute" for girls to plays with trains, planes and automobiles.
9) I will not secretly wish they were "gifted" or were a secret genius. Above average is just fine by me.
10) I will never ever let them think they have let me down...not when they say "homeworks," not when they refuse say more than "bu" till 18 months and not when they don't know how to count properly without losing themselves or if they don't know ABC perfectly at the right age or if their cursive is nothing to speak of ...for like a certain dear person pointed out quite reasonably..have you ever met an adult who doesn't know their ABC? Or one whose handwriting matches the trace-over books?
1) Point out that one eats just five-times better than the other. For after all what does it matter? Maybe a few years of my life can be saved from being whiled away at a dinner table saying, "Eat!" in various threatening tones. Only to be met with boredom, smarminess or both. No! I will not compare...just be grateful for the one that DOES eat!
2) I will not wish that both would sleep the entire night through just so I can get my precious 8 hours. Be like her sister? No she need not!
3)I will resist the impulse to list the activities my child is great at...even if it is to myself! She could do Tchaikovsky without lessons you know...both piano and ballet!
4) I will resist the impulse to claim my daughters did quadratic equations at the age of 6 months and were attending school before they could say peekaboo!
5) I will try not to insist they learn Bharatanatyam just because I did...especially if they stink at it! Comparing myself to them? tch tch!
6) I will try not to look too closely at the brushwork and strokes of the painting prizewinner who was not my daughter! Of course I am still allowed to think the mother has connections!
7) I will resist the impulse to dress my daughters in identical clothes only to have random people comment how one colour suits one but not the other! Very damaging to little psyches!
8) I will not let people tell them it's not "cute" for girls to plays with trains, planes and automobiles.
9) I will not secretly wish they were "gifted" or were a secret genius. Above average is just fine by me.
10) I will never ever let them think they have let me down...not when they say "homeworks," not when they refuse say more than "bu" till 18 months and not when they don't know how to count properly without losing themselves or if they don't know ABC perfectly at the right age or if their cursive is nothing to speak of ...for like a certain dear person pointed out quite reasonably..have you ever met an adult who doesn't know their ABC? Or one whose handwriting matches the trace-over books?
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