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And I love you too, Sweetheart!

So, three long years ago, my life changed. From being the wag I went to being D-Poo's mommy. It's been fairly good, though. Loved the little bundle from the beginning and she's only gotten cuter. And, of course, while I fondly imagine my life before her in nostalgic, "I-want-to-throttle-her" moments, life's been good. She talks so much and when she's asleep with her tiny hands cupping her chin, my heart just brims over. Not to mention the wonderful feeling of having her snuggling close to me when she's half asleep in the morning and the "softie" cheeks that just need a little snuggle in the warmth of the shared blanket!!! She's my little first-born: a cherished loved part of me that can never be repeated again. No matter how many siblings she has, D-Poo will always be my special, little surprise.
So, in a daze of motherhood, 3 years have passed me by. The daughter is tall enough to pull down my sock-basket from my shelf. She now wants to be "by herself and close the door, please" while on the potty. And she has definite tastes in music and will choose random badly matched clothes to wear. But she still needs me and I love it most of the time. And I blog when I don't love it. Good with the bad, right? Maintains balance and that sort of thing... But then why does it hurt so much when she tries the same thing?
I point you now to the source of my sorrow... My little D-Poo has started off on the rite of childhood that seems to inflict most kids these days .. The "I don't love you" when she doesn't get her way stage. It started a couple of months ago. She did something she knew was wrong and of course, me being me, I said, "D-POO! You can't do that ("that" being whatever little transgression happened at that point)"...And so she took off to sulk while I was waiting for her apology. And then a muffled voice from the couch proclaimed, "You're not my mommy... you're not my parent...I don't want you!!"
Those words have a lot of power and while they hurt, from the mouth of babes who depend on you for everything, it's also incredibly cute and laugh inducing (which of course is the wrong thing to do). And so I did the big thing, ignored her as best as I could, till she crawled up and said "sorry" in a very small voice and with a hug everything was over.
But for the next few weeks, it started to come up pretty often and sometimes would get pretty bad with dads being disowned too. We would joke about it sometimes just to get her even more riled up by saying..."Okay sweetie, maybe you want to live with someone else's mom instead?" and proceed to name people she barely knows... of course she would clarify that we weren't acceptable, but then no one else would do and would we please hasten and agree to do whatever she wanted anyways?
Now any mom would have caved early in the business...but last night was bad...bad meals, too much tantrum throwing and finally, I couldn't take it anymore and ticked her off only to hear "you're not my mommy... I don't want you... I only want my daddy" for the third time that day! Tears just came cascading down...MY CHEEKS!!! Did she really not want or need me anymore? Was this a door to the future, a mom forever on the outside of her daughter's affections for wanting her to listen? What about my "we'll be friends" fantasy? And when we got out of the car, a very tired little girl jumped into her mom's arms for her bedtime story and everything was right again. Until tomorrow...So, when can SHE start writing whiny, complaining blogs when she doesn't like me and stop saying "I don't want you"?

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